


just give me mercy, cause i keep hurting

by Iittlesparkle



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Sad, Unrequited Love, can you tell i'm sad tonight lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-08 01:30:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16419848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iittlesparkle/pseuds/Iittlesparkle
Summary: I have only one fic left after this one for the PFFB, will I get it done before midnight ? Who knowsshare ontumblr





	just give me mercy, cause i keep hurting

He never quite knows if he’s misinterpreting things again or if there’s truly something between them.

Does Dan tell every other boys they’re cute? Is he as touchy with everyone as he is with him? Does he look at everyone the way he looks at him? Is it just Dan’s way of expressing friendship, or is there something more?

He doesn’t know, and that’s what’s killing him.

Because he knows he wants more. He wants to hold hands and hug. When he’s trying to fall asleep at night, he cuddles his pillow and pretend that it’s him, that they’re together. And sometimes when they’re just taking face to face, he wants to fuck everything up and kiss the fuck out of him. But he won’t, because nothing is worth more to him than their friendship. So he keeps staring at his lips for way too long to be considered acceptable, and he just hopes Dan doesn’t notice.

For all he knows, Dan likes girls. He’s always looking at them and talking about them, yeah, he must like them. Phil likes girls too, but right now he doesn’t even see them when they walk past him. All he sees is Dan.

All he sees is how cute he is of course, he always looks so cosy with his sweater paws and his little curls, Phil has to refrain himself from hugging him right on the spot. He sees his brown eyes, that are so warm and homely now. But he also sees a personality different from anything he has seen before, he’s so nice and sweet but he’s not afraid to tell the truth, he’s always honest when he needs to. And they’re so similar in what matters, but also different enough that they can discuss things, they’re conversations are always so interesting.

Maybe Dan likes boys too. He has no proof to confirm or deny that. But even if he did, Phil knows it wouldn’t be him. Something inside of him keeps reminding him, it will never be him.

Sometimes he wonders if Dan is going through what he went through himself a few years ago. When he was attracted to boys without really knowing he did. Sometimes he tells himself it must be that, Dan must love him without knowing it. But then he sees the light in his eyes when Dan looks at girls, and every hope fly out the window.

He just finds it weird, how Dan enjoy his company so much. How they seem to click so easily. How there’s never any uncomfortable silence. He never had that with anyone else, no one has ever wanted to spend so much time with him, and maybe friendships are always like that for other people, but they’re not for him.

He keeps watching from a distance, constantly afraid he’s going to fuck things up by being too obvious. If Dan knew, he wouldn’t talk to him anymore. He would be creeped out. It would make things awkward. Maybe he already has.

**Author's Note:**

> I have only one fic left after this one for the PFFB, will I get it done before midnight ? Who knows
> 
> share on [tumblr](https://iittlesparkle.tumblr.com/post/181453643112/just-give-me-mercy-cause-i-keep-hurting)


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